My Lovely Quarantine

I believed quarantine would be a time for me to relax and take a breather with all the stress of School, College acceptances, Silver Knights, and Music. Everyday I would wake up at a later time than usual and it would be great. I could pace myself to do my work.

Whats even better I was able to write 3 massive works. I noticed every time I would write in these works it just seems to get darker and darker. I write music not just from my synesthesia but from my emotions. The darkening of the tone of my music meant something within myself. I began to think about why I was writing such dark and passionate works until I realized how my life unfolded.

People see me as a funny, nice, talented, and dirty mouthed person, but on the inside I’m not the happiest. I am noticing my emotional struggles in quarantine.

This quarantine is just a painful reminder of my life. But what’s so bad about your life? Well my mom’s side of the family is great they help me and protect me, but my dad side doesn’t care about me and I was emotionally, physically, and verbally abused by my dad. To add on father figures, my step dad is great and all, until he pulls out the bottle and gets angry at my mother for no reason.

Everyday is a struggle in quarantine since I don’t have my other family members to talk to. I am overstressed with school and university choices and to add to that my family issues. I am a Senior as well, which means every single senior event is cancelled. All this doesn’t feel great but I have to pull through.

Even with the “pulling through” I am emotionally strained in quarantine, I wish I could have someone to talk to about my struggles but I feel like I am all alone. I am continue to write music to keep me happy since that’s all I have right now.